


love of mine ( someday you will die )

by melanoradrood



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No One Lives / Everybody Dies, Alternate Universe - rebelcaptain in TLJ, Bittersweet Ending, F/M, [ fork it we make our own tags ], [ why is there not an everyone dies tag??? ]
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 15:15:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15391578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melanoradrood/pseuds/melanoradrood
Summary: Love of mine, someday you will dieBut I'll be close behind and I'll follow you into the dark





	1. Jyn ( I’ll Follow You Into The Dark )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you see the warnings? You have been warned.
> 
> Each Chapter is a different Universe. So, same world, same timeline, but in one, it's Jyn, and in the other, it's Cassian.
> 
> YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
> 
> ... xoxo

The whole of the Raddus is losing it’s karking mind, and yeah, Jyn is pretty karking over the top that they destroyed a dreadnaught, but of all the times to rejoin the karking Resistance, they had to choose right before a karking evacuation.

She and Cassian should be elsewhere, recruiting, as they had been for some time - after all, they were both well known heroes of the Rebellion, and they used that to their advantage. They had remained with the Senate when Leia had been forced to flee, and when the Hosnian System had been destroyed… well, they were thankfully already out of there, given that Leia had informed them they were on their way to finding Luke.

Good. Jyn was done with the whole of the New Republic. Bunch of karking idiots.

Of course, now they were on a ship with a karking tail and half their fleet destroyed, but…

They shouldn’t be here, but they were. Karking hell, Cassian owes her a hell of a vacation when they get out of this mess. They’re too damned old to be fighting a war, and she’s too damned old to be a Commander, but she couldn’t tell Leia no.

They should have told Leia no.

They should have said no, because Snoke’s ship has followed them, and she’s too damn old to run. Cassian had looked just as tired as Leia pointed it out, and they had shared a look across the bridge. As Poe, Kes’ son asked to go blow shit up, Jyn gave Cassian a nod - an  _ I love you _ , nod, because after all this time, she didn’t need to tell her husband she loved him.

He gave her a nod in response as she then turned, heading out the door, heading towards the Hangar bay.

Half the fleet is gone, but Jyn can fly an X-Wing, or a Y-Wing, or an A-Wing, or whatever else they want to throw her into. She knows Cassian would be two steps behind her, except with his knee, it takes him too damn long to climb the ladder - the battle will be over before he gets there.

She’s ten steps behind Poe, and karking hell she really is too old for this, when a wave of flame hits her, throws her back so hard, she probably just broke something.

It takes her far too long to realize that the rest of their fighters were just destroyed.

They have to get out of here, have to get out of range, and she’s running back to the bridge, because there are no squadrons left, and they’re sitting out here getting picked off. She’s too old for this, should have stayed home, but a part of her feels alive again, in the thick of it. She would rather have a blaster in hand, get to shoot something, but that will come soon enough -

Her feet hit hard, every step, and she shouldn’t have left the bridge, thoroughly plans to sit her ass down and get healed up before there is a battle on the ground- 

There’s a look on Poe’s face as the ship rocks and he looks out the window, and she… 

Jyn doesn’t breathe, doesn’t even think as her eyes see what his do, as she sees what Connix is looking at, as she realizes what was just hit.

She runs, follows after them, and yeah, she’s glad that Leia is alive, but she wants to throw herself out where Leia just came from, because Cassian is dead, and she’s supposed to be with him.

 

She says nothing, does nothing, just watches, sits there as Amilyn takes control, as they fuel the transports, as Poe loses his karking mind. She just sits there and watches, because suddenly, the fight is gone.

No one even notices her, because it’s like they know… they know that Cassian is gone, and with that, so is Jyn. It’s not that she didn’t have any fight left, because she did. She cared about the cause, cared that the First Order shouldn’t exist, cared about their victory. She just… She doesn’t have it in her to fight anymore.

 

She stands there, watching Amilyn and Leia say goodbye, and it’s not until Leia’s about to climb onto the last transport that she seems to realize what’s happening, to realize that Jyn’s decision is already made. It was like she just expected Jyn to follow…

“May the Force be with you,” she says to Leia, and Leia is actually paused, then gives a nod.

“And with you.”

She’s left standing with Amilyn as the transports take off, and then, they find their seats.

 

Her fingers are wrapped around where her kyber crystal should be, but it was with Cassian, on his neck, so instead, her fingers are wrapped around the cord that holds her wedding ring, the one she never wore because it got in the way. She should have worn it more. It made him smile when he saw it.

She should have told him she loved him, should have said it one last time.

She should have kissed him. Should have kissed him goodbye.

Amilyn knows what she’s doing, so Jyn is left to look into space, to watch the hope of the Resistance flee to Crait, their last chance of survival in very good hands.

Jyn was very good at following Cassian. It was time to follow him one last time.


	2. Cassian ( But I’ll Be Close Behind )

Cassian knows that Jyn is tired.

Karking hell, he’s exhausted at this point. Old age and old war wounds have beaten him hard, and every time they hit the hyperdrive, he can feel it in his bones, can feel that he can’t take much more. His body had been battered and bruised so many times over the years, in the Clone Wars, with the Rebellion, and even now with the Resistance…

But he can’t just sit down and wait, and when Leia Organa calls you, you come. He had seen it in Jyn’s eyes, even as she had wanted to protest… she wanted to come as well. There was still fight left in them, and the years they had together, they had been borrowed time, time that was a gift, that they didn’t really deserve.

They sure as shit didn’t deserve being chased across the galaxy, though. What was with this new technology? He imagined that if Kay were here, he would have a few choice words, but Kay wasn’t here - Scarif had been a long time before. It was just him and Jyn and a bunch of kids.

Kids. They were all kids. Even their godson, Poe, was still a karking child.

They were tired, yes, but they still had to fight, because the war, the old war, it was never really done, never really over.

The second that Leia says they can blow shit up, he’s gone. He might be a Commander at this point, but he’ll be damned if he’s going to just sit around, wait for something to happen. That was never him before, and it’s not him now. The patience of being a spy is long gone - there’s a few extra X-Wings, and he plans to climb into one… if his knee can bare it.

“I’m grabbing Black Six,” Cassian says, and Leia gives him a nod.

“Oh no you’re not,” his wife says with a laugh, and he gives her a look that says it’s a challenge.

In the heat of battle, and they’re about to start flirting.

“It’s my turn to shoot something. You can sit here and wait.”

“You can sit here and wait, old man. There’s no way you make it to that X-Wing before I do.”

Cassian is off in a rush, and yeah, his knee will kill him later, but worst case scenario, they just cut it off, and he gets a new mechanical one. Or, he’ll just die and not have to worry about the knee pain. That doesn’t sound so bad.

“Damn you, Jyn. I’m not sitting here and baking cookies,” he says when she passes him two seconds later, and how is she still so fast in her old age? It isn’t right. She’s even faster than Poe, and if that doesn’t make the two men share a glance…

“You love me!” she yells back at him, and he sees her turning, running into the hanger.

He grabs onto the wall as he makes a turn, just in time to see his wife climbing into the X-Wing.

“You married her,” Poe says with a laugh, and Cassian gives his godson a glance.

“And I’d do it again every day,” he says.

It’s the last thing he says before looking up, locking eyes with Jyn as she settles into her seat, a grin on her face - and then he’s thrown backwards, a wall of flame hitting him. He doesn’t have time to think about what happened, other than to realize his knee fucking hurt, and that the doors had closed, sucking his wife, and the explosion, out into the emptiness of space.

 

When Poe comes to him with the dumbest karking plan he has ever heard, Cassian doesn’t say a thing. He trusts Holdo, but he also doesn’t know what she’s doing. She has never explained herself before, and he trusts her, honestly, because Leia trusts her, but the situation is impossible.

If Poe thinks they have a chance, well, it doesn’t hurt anything. He has heard crazy plans before, so who is he to tell these kids, and karking hell they’re all still children, that they can’t do it.

He stays with Leia when Poe attempts to take control of the ship, and even hands her a weapon when she wakes up, recognizing the shift in the force. She knows about Jyn, of course, but they don’t discuss it, just like they hadn’t talked about Han. They know the cost of war, they’ve known since they were children.

No point in talking about the fact that the people they love are dead, that all they have left is the fight, that they’re destined for heartache and loss. His wife is dead, and he’s the only reason he’s still going, is the one that pulls him out of danger time and again, and he’s…

He’s twisting his ring as they board the transports, and he fucking loved her with every part of his being. She was his family, his friend, his companion, his advisor, his lover… Jyn was all he had ever had, other than this fight and this war, and without her, he’s nothing.

 

He trusts Amilyn Holdo, which is why, when he overhears her talking to Leia, he steps in to offer his help.

“I know how to fly the  _ Raddus _ ,” he says, and the two women stare him down, like they want to protest. Could he still help the Resistance? Of course. He had a lifetime of experience. But was his heart still in it? No, his heart was lost into space, destroyed by the First Order.

Leia doesn’t even try, giving his hand a squeeze, but Amilyn- “This was my plan, Commander. I am willing to die for this Resistance. You don’t need to sacrifice herself.”

Her words are strong and careful, and Cassian can see her point of view, but she… she doesn’t get it. Or maybe she does, given the way that she had held on tight to Leia’s hand, but not really. She had friends. Cassian…

“I’m not leaving my wife behind,” he says, because Jyn’s body is out there, just outside of this ship, in the form of stardust. “I didn’t leave her behind on Jedha. She didn’t leave me behind on Scarif. That’s just who we are.”

His wife, his wife is dead, his Jyn is dead, and he can see her smile, can see her looking back at him.

“May the Force be with you,” Leia says, and Amilyn gives a nod, before turning to follow after Leia.

 

He’s quiet, watching the fleet try to escape, and then, he watches the attack. He’s already sitting there ready to fly, so when he looks forward at Snoke’s ship, well… it’s a pretty easy decision. He had thought he might have to off himself, if the First Order decided to board the Raddus rather than shooting it down.

His fingers hover over the lever as he makes the calculations, and it’s easy, it’s natural, and he wishes Kay was here to make a joke - he wishes Jyn was here to hold his hand as they entered death together.

“I’ll see you soon,” he says to no one at all, but he can feel her, can feel the Force - her hand settles over his on the lever, and when he pushes it forward, all he can see is her smile, the white light, and then - nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> You saw the warnings. You knew this was coming.
> 
> I had a chit chat with a friend a while back as we discussed what would happen to our favorite pairing during the Sequel Trilogy, and I had a horrible realization that if they were there, there was no way that either of them would survive. It was heartbreaking. So of course I started talking about how maybe they were off recruiting... and then I realized I needed to write this.
> 
> So I did.


End file.
